


I Am Victim

by Romanec



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Child Abuse, Cutting, Everyone is just a little more broken than everyone else realizes, M/M, Multi, Other, Poetry, Racism, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romanec/pseuds/Romanec
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let's all sit around the campfire and share stories of past, Of pain and agony and nightmares and nightmares that last.No. No, let it not rhyme, or have rhythm at all. Instead, let it scream and cry and beg and be a little broken, like the barrell of a gun."</p><p>Or 'the one where the kids sit around and talk about their past after getting a little drunk and in their room Erik is a mentally angst-ridden guilt mess and Charles says nothing about himself at all".</p><p>All done in poetry. Of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Victim

_Let's all sit around the campfire and share stories of past_

 _Of pain and agony and nightmares and nightmares that last._

 _No. No, let it not rhyme, or have rhythm at all. Instead, let it scream_

 _and cry_

 _and beg_

 _and be a little broken like the barrell of a gun._

 **I am Alex.**

So naturally I go first.

And let me start off with a big _fuck. you._

Who? Who _not_?

Every demented artist that has ever touched me

left their untalented works on my skin.

Shiny, shiny little fucking skinny scars

And I look like the rubble terrorists have built.

Every deaf ear turned - and oh there were plenty -

Do you know how loud I scream?

Screamed?

Begged?

No, they don't either. Because they didn't hear.

No one heard. No one cared

Do you know how loud _he_ screamed?

My little baby brother of brown and blue

 _blackandblue_

They touched him, I killed them

Accident. Accidentaccidentaccident that feltsogood

They died. Dead, dead, artists

And then the brown and blue was gone and I

Locked away.

Given away, sold away, thrown away, locked.

And when I wasn't screaming, they were screaming

In my ears, every night.

And when they weren't screaming, others were touching.

Making my body a red and white mural. Muralists.

 **I know pain.**

 **I am Darwin.**

My real name is fake.

My fake name is real.

And what is real is fake and fake is real and sometimes it hurts to breathe.

I had a map, once, of how life was supposed to go,

One long clear line for _keep your mouth shut!_

Another for _and your head down!_

Don't make a sound, don't draw attention

 _Your skin is the wrong fucking color, man, and you'll just never be good enough._

That was my map.

I lost it to the fire of a white man's lighter when he set my house on fire.

Yeah, I know that look. I've seen it - worn it. But white on white on fire really happens

Burning burning burning

 _leftonlyme_

And I died when I heard their screams.

But kept walking anyway

Mom Dad Baby Sister still in crib

Felt raw in my hands

Burning bodies smell like rotten firewood

And the laughter of cloaked murderers, it's crackles while it flames.

Yellow - cowardice -

runaway - coward

Yellow

I drove my cab with politeness and shame

Spent time on my knees just to beg

That is how you adapt to survive, but do you know

I could never make black into white

 **I know pain.**

 **I am Angel.**

Tears.

Pain.

Wanted.

Ruined.

Ripped apart.

Can you ... feel that?

With my words?

Blood down my skin.

Pain in my back.

Hot breath on my neck.

Sweaty sticky hands on my inner thighs.

Sell.

Sold.

I sold what I had to sell what I needed to live.

Heavy, heavy weight, crushing me, using me

 _insideofme_

Smoothing against me and feeling me and taking

Takingtakingtaking

I hope you don't feel that.

I want to run get away be free fly

I'm suffocating I can't leave it I'm free but I'm me

Mama, Papa, _fuckthemall!_

 _God, it just hurts and I can't forget it_

 _every time every word every hot foul breath_

 _no,_

 _don't touch me, please._

I'm sorry. Forget it.

 **I know pain.**

 **I am Sean**

and I don't belong here.

Here, or ... wherever.

I think I'm supposed to be dead.

Silence.

Sometimes, when I dream

I'm in Ireland. With a large family who adores me

And a _father_

Other times, when I dream

I'm always happy. And carefree. And alright, maybe a little high.

But those are dreams.

When I wake up, it's cold. Empty. The air I breathe is hard.

I have pretended, I have meshed

And sometimes I wish I could scream

I've been alone ... a long time.

I've got scars, just here, for each year

I count them every day

Scream out my rage? My pain?

I wish.

I _want._

 _Iwanttoscream_

Silence.

It's really loud, right?

I make things crack

And break

I don't break.

 **I know pain.**

 **I am Hank**

There's nothing more to say.

No, honestly

Look at me

Flaws

A torn piece of construction paper

Can't be used

A fragment of something that would have been perfect.

Secret? Cold.

I love the cold. Touch it, hold it, embrace it

Until the shivers make the glass break.

Unexplainable.

No need to explain.

Eyes see everything, all of it

every last detail

Blank.

 _Hideousfreakabomination_

Names? I have plenty

enough to poke holes in the sky

and call them stars.

Hiding. Hide.

That is all I do.

Hide, Hank, hide, Henry, hide, McCoy, hide, freak

Obscene and unnatural

my parents tried to hide me too

There is nothing more to say.

 **I know pain.**

 **I am Raven**

Blue - the color of my skin

the color of the water they tried to drown me in

the color of the would-be fate of my sin.

No.. no rhyming. No rhyming.

Excuse me. A moment.

I have to breathe.

I ...

Hands. Large, strong hands.

Holding ... holding me down.

Under.

So far under and I couldn'tbreathe.

Kind, soft hands

Pulling me in,

hugging me.

Changed hands

no hugging.

I'm under again.

 _Whycan'tIbreathe?  
_ Mirros lie

and...words lie.

I am loved and empty

Held under and saved

I can't breathe.

 **I know pain.**

 

 **-X-**

 

 **I am Erik.**

Green, violent, brown,

dead

rain metal

blood

dead.

Sometimes Charles wakes up at night and screams.

Burrows closer and screams

Digs into me bites me hits me scares me needs me

Arches and screams

 _Horriblebrokenscreams_

I hope it isn't me.

brown

dead

pink

dead

yellow

dead

cold chain rain and metal

Oblivion, my step.

I need no words for this.

 _I hope it isn't me_.

 **I know pain.**

 

 **I am Charles**

 _Silence._


End file.
